The Gift of Chi

The setting was the June 1998 Taoist Tai Chi Workshop in Canada. The experience was the most profound of my adult life. Eight years later, I am just as grateful and wondrous over the happening.

It was only two weeks after the passing of Master Moy, the charismatic founder and Taoist healer. Our workshop instructor, Ben, was a dear friend and particularly adept at the toryu or turning movment, the core movement of the tai chi set.

Ben designed and taught the workshop as a toryu workshop. We were asked not to do any other tai chi for the first four days. Instead we practiced varieties of the toryu for seven hours each day: 10-12am, 3-6pm, and 7-9pm.

The teachings were a revelation and I found myself taking Advil am and pm. I first noticed the change Wednesday afternoon. It was disturbing and unlike anything I had ever experienced. I felt strong pulsing movements centered in my torso. I checked my heart repeatedly but could not detect any change of rhythm.

As the sensations intensified I felt as if my insides were a boiling cauldron. I was running hot but was not feverish. I took to my room, lay down, and observed the internal happenings which did not stop. I was able to sleep but awoke periodically with strong pulsing. Something had been turned on and I was both curious and mildly alarmed.

I asked my instructor and he stonewalled. I kept asking around among other participants and came across someone who was willing to talk with me. Late the following day during a long conversation I learned that the intensive work with the toryu had activated my chi. It was a good thing and I was much relieved.

I needed the next few months to process what had occurred. It soon became clear that it was gift, and especially welcome with multiple sclerosis.