Sunday, September 11, 2005

Tai chi and MS: Hertz and Avis

In the few months since posting any reflections, my MS reached a new low and my tai chi a new high. MS continues to be my Hertz -–“we’re #1” and tai chi my Avis -–“we try harder.”

The Hertz-Avis rivalry reminds me to cultivate “beginner’s mind” and stay open to the reality that some things get worse and some things getter better at the same time. Of course, it goes against linear and either/or thinking. We go from young to old—the direction doesn’t change except in instances where we see unusual youthfulness in the old. But being young at heart does not reverse the biological linearity of getting old.

In my tai chi, the linearity of progressive disease is joined by an increased strengthening of bodymind—incremental changes that are as real as my MS. Gettingbetter/GettingWorse is so zen and like zen, must be relearned and practiced regularly, especially when Hertz is in the driver's seat. The lesson is in my tai chi -- standup/sitdown (more accurately, drop internally/lengthen the spine so that your head rises). What appears to be a contradiction -- how can you stand and sit at the same time, turns out to a different mode of movement, a different mode of being where polarity is transformed in a union of yin/yang.

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