Just as I was mentally approaching the next phase of disability, the unexpected occurred. The night before I was dragging both feet and having more balance problems. This morning something had shifted bio-mechanically so that I am now able, be it slowly and deliberately, to lift each foot while walking. With it, balance has improved.
Apparently, the recent physical therapy on the hip flexors, and practicing tai chi practice focusing on hip flexion, has paid off.
Once again I was letting expectation creep in -- hoping that tai chi would help stave off increasing disability. As disability progressed, I began to feel bad.
How many times must I learn – practice tai chi without expectation. Practice without hope and without despair but practice.
About Me
- Joel Gottlieb
- Retired to Taos in 2000 accompanied by multiple sclerosis.2009 became a paraplegic after a spinal cord injury. Gratefully married to Linda Harrison Gottlieb, a collage and assemblage artist. Image of recent work: Field Guide to Rotifers
3 comments:
Joel,
Glad to hear that your balance has improved. You may have it backwards, I think. The improved balance enabled you to lift your leg higher. The central nervous system is hardwired for survival. The difficulty lifting the legs could be viewed as a defense, rather than a defect. When you try to lift your leg your body senses the poor balance and tries to inhibit the lifting--in order to be safe. Walking like this consumes more energy. With improved balance, there is less inhibition, so it's easier to lift the leg and walking becomes more efficient
Gary
I missed your blog for a while. Glad you're doing better. It seems like every time I get used to a new symptom, it goes away but is soon replaced by a new one. It certainly keeps it interesting, doesn't it?
I've been outof the loop, but I find when I do check in, I find some little nugget - practice without expectation - yes, thanks for the reminder. Practice in all of its definition....
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