Inside Out

Strange – more and more of my movement is inside out.

As my multiple sclerosis transformation progresses, I have less surface feeling on my body. The other day I noticed the complete absence of feeling on the top of my foot when directing a hair dryer two inches from my foot. I also have less external muscular control of my legs.

As my tai chi transformation progresses, I have more awareness and control of deeper muscles, an internal world of movement. I am able to contract/relax, to some degree, those internal muscles (sinking of the torso, turning of the spine, dropping the scapulae, medial rotation of the hip joint....) to assist in what passes for walking. It seems that the internal movements are directing and amplifying what remains of external muscular movement. For example, sinking my shoulders and torso sinking enables me to lift a reluctant leg and propel my foot forward or backward.